Life is a funny thing. I’m always amazed by the things that happen that are least expected. For me, it’s always health-wise. And something else that amazes me is the way you find things out. Everything lines up in the universe the way it’s meant to align. It’s the weirdest thing how that works. It’s a wonderment if nothing else. And it shows that there is definitely a higher being making the stars align.
For the past few years I have obsessed about turning 30. I thought it meant the end of my young life and the beginning of old lady status! Leading up to 30, I’ve definitely felt a bit “old”. I feel like the music my younger coworkers are into, the fashion, the slang….I feel so out of sync! But at the same time, I know that going into my 30’s will begin the best years of my life. So many people have told me that your 30’s is when you start living! God, I hope that’s true because it was rough in my 20’s. Now, I feel like I am ready to be an adult. In my 20’s I was still able to get away with childlike things. But now, I’ve got to come into my own, I’ve got to embrace everything that’s thrown my way……the reason for this post.
A few days before my 30th birthday I went to the hospital because I was having really bad chest pains and I was SURE I was having a heart attack. I got out of bed in the middle of the night and made my way to the hospital. When I got there they performed all of the necessary tests; they took my blood, did an EKG, set me up for an x-ray and took a urine sample. I waited and waited and waited for the doctor to tell me my ill-fate. I was ready for him to tell me I was having a mild heart attack at 29. When the doctor came in the room, he told me the complete opposite. He said from what he could see, the pain wasn’t coming from my heart, the cause of the pain was unknown. BUT, I did have diabetes. My blood sugar levels were out of control, at 430! He relayed that information to me with the saddest look on his face, like he had just lost his best friend, and apologized over and over again. I was in the hospital alone, I felt helpless. I didn’t know how to process it. And his said face and apologetic tone didn’t make it any better. Was this something I was supposed to be afraid of? Was I supposed to be let down, feeling as though there was nothing I could do to turn this around? That’s how I felt. But I knew that I couldn’t freak out. Until freaking out is exactly what I did. I started to cry. I knew NOTHING about diabetes, except that my Grandfather was a double amputee from it and also passed away because of it. So as any American with a smartphone, I Googled it. The only thing I got from that was I either had gotten really fat and brought this upon myself, or this was something that was hereditary. Either way, I needed a solution, I needed a friend and I needed a hug. The nurse came in and gave me my prescription, talked to me a little about diabetes because she herself had it and I was on my way. Still, alone.
I went home and thought, “I’ve gotta change.” Eating habits, exercise, smoking…it all had to go out the window. And I must say, so far so good. I’ve dropped 10 pounds since I found out. Finding good eating choices to comply with diabetes is a little hard, but it’s manageable. This has been one hell of a way to bring in 30; medication, glucose meters and all! But I’m embracing it. I think that’s my new word for the year of 30, EMBRACE. And with that being said, I hope to be able to embrace so much more for the years to come.